Tag Archives: therapy

Thoughts

I am experiencing separation anxiety from my pups. I hope they are okay. What if they are too hot? What if they don’t have water? What if they have to pee?

I miss them ūüė¶

I want my tattoo on my ribs now. It’s too big for my ankle. I’ve heard that ribs are absolutely awful when it comes to pain though. Any comments?

I want Namaste on my foot next summer FOR SURE.

This other one? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing. (Which obviously leads me to believe I should wait.)

I am tempted to save my money though since
1. I don’t know where I want it.
2. I’m scared of pain
3. I feel like I should save the money for yoga school / a nice camera

4. I thought of 3 reasons without much difficulty.

UGHHHH I WANT A TATTOO. At least I have hair feathers?

I would dye my hair or pierce my face but I already pierced my face (see: eyebrow piercing in photos of me) and everyone thinks I’m a bangin’ blonde. #whitegirlproblems

[Currently experiencing that whole tagging thing where I have “tattoo” and “tattoos” #awk]

I’ve been tumbling at work and I really don’t want to do anything. I miss my puppies and my salad at lunch made me super sick and I can’t stop thinking about sushi and the amazing weekend I have planned starting at 6 tonight.

2 more hours.

I am going to try to blog more often. Even if I don’t have pictures or whatever. I found that journaling helps me see how ridiculous I am. Like when I think I’m ugly/fat/stupid etc I think about writing that on my blog.

And I realize, “I don’t believe that at all,” because I wouldn’t announce it to all my readers. [I have readers.. how exciting!]

Fun fact: I freak the hell out whenever I go over 100 views in a day. #dork

I’m going to keep tumbling. Maybe facebook. And mayyyyybe I’ll tutor someone in math (not if I can help it though).

Namaste.

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Camping ’11

Holland was amazing y’all! I had a blasty-blast with all of my best friends. It was wonderful (:

I would like to offer you a gallery of pictures to look at!

We had ice cream at the beach, watched the sunset, a bird pooped on my sleeping bag, took a tour of Hope College courtesy of Fodes (yeah Dutchmen!), went shopping in downtown, ate at the New Holland Brewery (pizza rolls is that awkward picture!), and I got tan. Huzzah!

It was the best camping trip yet.

I had my second to last therapy session today. When I talked with Teresa, it helped me realize just how far I’ve come. The thoughts I used to have compared to the thoughts now…. well, honestly, they can’t even been compared. I have conquered so much these last 6 months… it is beyond what I thought I could do.

I guess it has taught me to have more faith in myself. I also know that I need to seek out help. I have tried to face too many things on my own, tried to take on more than a single person should. ¬†I’m fortunate enough that I have had many people stand by me in such tough times. Conquering my demons has been hard… they aren’t all gone by any means. Now, however, I have many more tools to fight them. I hopefully will win more battles than I lose.

Time for me to study some biology. Ugh! I loved my vacation; I do not love all the bio homework I now have because of it.

I think I’m going to make my tattoo appointment sometime soon as well<3

Namaste.

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wiaw & a healthy June

So I know it’s Thursday night and I’m posting about Wednesday. But I am a busy girl and I have lots of stuff that I have been up to (: So you will first see my WIAW, then some fun pictures and updates.

B*fast

I had my first “oats in a jar”. OMNOM

Lunch*

This was one of my best smoothies yet. Such a perfect consistency!

*Dinner

My first burger in 4 months.

Woah.

Truly a wonderful, summery meal!
I snuck in some strawberries on the side as well (;

Dessert*~

I had a lovely baby frozen yogurt cone & about 2 s’mores & 5 roasted marshmallows (so 7 total).

Love flash SO MUCH. #sarcasm

Other*Fun

Notice “102”. Yup. It was HOT yesterday.

Photo taken by moi ‚̧

More tubing!

Mr. Darcy was hoping for some dropped food!

Today’s fruit salad for dinner!

Raspberries, strawberries, grapes, spinach, and raspberry vinaigrette dressing!

Whew! Lots of photos. Now for a small ramble (;

Yesterday I went to therapy. [Hi Teresa!] ¬†We discussed how I can change over the next month to conquer all the things I’ve been having problems with, like my anxiety and guilt and everything! So tomorrow I am starting a 30 day challenge for myself. Every day I want to make progress towards some daily goals. I am going to try to take things day by day, and try to learn that I can’t worry about things that I have no control of. But I¬†have to try to change what I do have control of. What better place to chronicle this journey than right here on my blog? I might make some posts private, so if I skip a day, that’s probably why. (Not all¬†my issues should be public!)

It’s a journey towards health and happiness. I always set unreachable goals. To be happy. To be healthy. These aren’t tangible things, they are works in progress. They are processes. It’s something to work at every single day. Something I read about recently on¬†http://www.runningoffthereeses.com/¬†was how we shouldn’t say “I’m perfect the way I am!” because we are always a work in progress. We should be critical of ourselves!

WHAT?!

Yes!¬†We should be critical. Not to the point where it’s damaging, but so that we know where we can improve. The purpose is to find out how we can improve our lives and ourselves. I have never thought about life in that way! It’s called being a realist. (http://www.runningoffthereeses.com/2011/06/im-realist.html)

So I am going to have to really buckle down to chronicle this. I am going try to find the positives in my day. I am going to try to do my therapy exercises. Meditation. Radical Acceptance. Cognitive Restructuring.

It’s going to be difficult, but I know it will be worth it. I didn’t succeed with my May goals, but June will be different. I am ready to take action. I hope to have nothing but good news and happiness to share with you. There will be some intense bumps along the way, so I hope you don’t mind seeing that. I don’t want to be a negative nancy, but I can’t always slap on a smile. It’s not me. I am not 100% happy all the time, and I feel like that is how I’ve come off on my blog. Not to say I’m going to bombard you with cloudy days, but I am going to try to be 100% real with you guys. I love your comments. They make my day. I love hearing about you guys and how you relate.

Thanks for being there with me, and I hope we can take this new journey together!

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