Tag Archives: sadness

Sorry

I’m sorry that I haven’t been posting as much these past few days; I’ve been a very busy girl. I have wonderful family zoo photos to show you tomorrow and fun weekend things to talk about. I promise!

I feel like we all expect our lives to be sunshine and rainbows. I wait for when I’m truly happy; it means everything is going to be okay and I’m going to feel okay again.

I recognize that everyone has bad days. Today I ate too much pizza, cake, and cookies. I feel sick inside and out. I don’t know why I eat this way. I didn’t need the second helping of pizza, or the big second slice of cake, or the second cookie. I could have easily felt much better physically and mentally had I just indulged a little. I wouldn’t deny myself, only I wouldn’t eat myself sick either. It’s quite a challenge to achieve. Any of you have encountered binging at one point or another I’m sure. If not, good for you, don’t do it. It sucks.

I had a small fight with my boyfriend including me having a breakdown. I feel like I’m losing my mind here you guys. It must be my time of the month soon or something because I can’t take anything right now.

This is really just an honest post. If you want encouragement, I will encourage you on your blog. This blog is my space. It’s my mind. Right now, my mind is a mess. I am upset with people, I miss the way things used to be, and I’m wondering when exactly I made the decision to view the world the way in the pessimistic way I do now.

I am definitely better than a few months ago. I know I have to focus on my improvement; however it’s just so difficult when nobody actually knows what’s going on and even the people who do don’t make me feel less lonely.

I always get this way at night; it’s why I blog during the day. I need my sleep to have my sanity.

I’m not looking for a pity party by any means. This is my life and what I’m going through. I’m still in that awkward stage of figuring out where the heck I belong in this black and white world when I’m all shades of grey.

Namaste.

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Day Three: Twisted.

Guess what happened guys. I twisted my ankle yesterday. ┬áSo sad ­čśŽ

It’s feeling a little better today, but I am now limping everywhere. I feel like a kicked puppy. It happened when I was playing some intense ultimate frisbee yesterday with my friends. Fun, but painful and hard. Great exercise though (;

Today I went to church. I went to Catholic mass all year at school and my senior year of high school so attending non-denominational services is definitely a different experience! It’s still a little out of my comfort zone, but I love the atmosphere. There’s so much love for God and Jesus. The pastor has powerful sermons. Love.

Happy Pentecost to those who celebrate. If you don’t, happy Sunday (;

So if you don’t know what PostSecret is, you should check out postsecret.com

It’s one of my obsessions. I wrote my college admissions essay on one of the books. (Yup, it means that much to me.)

Favorite secret of the week:

I am super lucky to have the parents that I do. They are always there for me, every day, every minute, every moment of my life. I know I will always have a home wherever they are.

Last night was a hard night. I’m not sure why, but after one or two good weeks, I always have a bad night. It’s probably how everybody feels right? It’s normal, I think. Luckily I had one of my best friends, Emma, reach out to me last night to make me feel better. I don’t know if she realizes what a difference she made last night. She stopped the demons from getting to my soul and she stopped the thoughts from coming. For that I don’t know if I can thank her enough.

Today is going to be a better day. I am obviously not going to exercise because of my ankle, but I am just having a lazy day.┬áAren’t those the best? After I finish this post I’m going to curl up in my bed and watch True Blood. We are cooking salmon on the grill today. Unfortunately it’s only in the mid-60s today, but at least it’s not raining! (;

Sammi got her new camera today. Me = super mega uber jealous! She is so creative. I can’t wait to see what kinds of ┬ábeautiful pictures she takes!

For some reason I was obsessed with the chocolate strawberry smoothie I made yesterday.

photoshoot*

Demolished that baby.

Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Smoothie

  • 1/4 C Almond Milk
  • 3 Tbsp cocoa powder
  • 1 scoop Choc protein powder
  • 1 C frozen strawberries
  • 2 heaping scoops plain chobani yogurt
  • shredded coconut to top
  • spinach = optional (I didn’t have any)
Blend, baby, blend.
That’s all for me today bloggies. Have a fabulous Sunday. Do something good for yourself<3

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