Tag Archives: rants

I should be studying

Veganism has been up and down. Sometimes I go the whole day, other times I don’t even have one meal that’s vegan. I’m enjoying it though. I feel good about it. I’m just not ready to give up fro yo or sushi (:

I appreciate that you are still reading. It means a lot to me (: I haven’t posted a lot because I’ve just been so busy, and I’ve been sorting through a lot of stuff. This year is different from last year, and presents it’s own new challenges.

A few of my friends moved off campus and I miss them. I miss having them right down the hall and I miss our study parties. It’s hard to get used to not seeing them as often. It’s even hard with a few of my friends being spread out across the dorm. It’s hard being at this college because everyone is taking such hard schedules and has to study all the time, including myself. Whenever I have time that’s free, I don’t want to do anything but sleep, or drink tea and listen to music and chill. I also miss my friends from home a lot. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to be away from them. Although I’m so excited to go to Florida for Christmas, it means I only have a few days to see my friends before I go back to school.

My French class is killing me. I’m averaging a 75% on my quizzes and homework. What?! I have accepted that I’m a mostly B student in college (big transition) but that is unacceptable. I met with my prof and she said it’s not something to be concerned about because we will have many more and it’s not a huge section of our grade. I participate all the time in class and I’m improving my speaking, but that doesn’t exactly balance out the fact that I’m basically failing the quizzes. Bof! We went over my study habits in our meeting and I’m hoping that I can start to study more efficiently and improve my grade. I also have a test tomorrow… I have studied on and off, and I’m going to study a lot tonight. I hope I do well..

My other classes are alright. I feel like I understand bio & orgo. I have my first bio exam on Wednesday that I am very anxious for! After I get through French, it’s going to be all about the biology.

I have been so hungry lately. It’s very odd. Especially at night, I just get the munchies and I can’t seem to stop eating. The past week has just been a very bad week for me. I think that I’m encountering my anxiety eating again. This week I’m going to try to take control of it without restricting myself. If I’m hungry, I’ll eat a piece of fruit then stop. I’ll try to drink more water at night to satisfy my compulsion to eat.

I worked for 4.5 hours last night and it was awful ): I was called lazy which is a word I don’t think has ever been used to describe me and it’s still bothering me. I wasn’t cutting the strawberries which my supervisor called me out on… however I had asked the coordinator at the beginning of my shift whether or not I was supposed to cut them and she said no.


Personally, I like my fruit separate. I hate when there’s a giant bowl of all mixed fruit because then it all tastes the same. So I separate the different fruit. I was then told I should try new combinations of fruit and mix it up. Isn’t that more a personal preference rather than something I should “know” to do? I was imagining myself as the customer and doing what I would want.


I have to work again today except I’m just serving food rather than doing fruit. It’s only serve for two hours and close for one but I have so much homework to do that it is a giant chunk of time that could be put to better use /: Working always is time I could put to better use. I need the money though.

Speaking of time, I should get back to studying before work. I am still on the fence between eating sushi with my parents today or eating at Sava’s which is all American food (albeit a nice restaurant).

Ooh I’m going to yoga on Friday mornings at 8:30 with two of my best friends. It’s a great way to start my day (:


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Problems & Puppies

I really don’t know how you all do it. How you manage to live life, blog, try new things, eat right, and basically just stay sane.

It’s so hard! I can’t balance everything at once. Maybe that’s my problem is that I think I can’t..?

I went to college, fell off the sane train, and now I’m sitting in the middle of the floor wondering what it all means.

SIDE NOTE: 11:11 make a wish.

I mean, I am really blessed. I see that. I have friends and family and a house and I can go to college and all that jazz.

But… I just want something more. I always feel like something is… missing.

Maybe I’m an adventurous type and I just need new things to keep me occupied… or maybe I’m just depressed because I have to leave my new babies (puppies!) to go to work & class tomorrow 😦 -so much sad face-

I’ll have pictures & videos for you on Friday. I’m too damn tired tonight to do much of anything besides ramble and tomorrow I’m going to samm’s after work. That’s a bright side at least.

Do any of you guys get incredibly pessimistic at night? I find that past 10:30 I get pretty upset about just about everything.

I think it’s time for me to sleep.


P.S. I hate when I make a tag, then make the same tag only with an s on it. Oh silly.


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Well I finally downloaded the wordpress app! I feel that this will allow me to post more. Although my posts from here will usually be picture-less and unformatted. Eh! #whatever

So I am in a weird mood. I’m in a let’s-watch-the-notebook-by-myself kind of mood. I want to listen to sad country songs about how much these guys love these southern girls. I want to sing “Marry Me” by Train while shoveling coldstone ice cream into my mouth. It’s a cuddle-with-my-cat-because-I-feel-lonely night.

I want to think that everything is okay. Honestly, blends, (blog+ friends, thanks N!) things are not so hot on this front. [even though it was 90 with 90% humidity today. I don’t mind; I love when my hair gets fluffy #bedhead]

I feel like my bf and I have lost some of the romance in our relationship. He used to be so romantic. We were cookie-cutter perfect couple (#self-centered). He bought me flowers and wrote me poems and gave me chocolate all just because. He surprised me and always looked at me like I was the only girl in the world.

Now I have to practically BEG for a compliment every once in awhile and the only flowers I see are on the side of the road. We’ve been together for 16 months today.. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready for us to be.. Boring!

Where is the spark?! I hate admitting this to all of you. I always put up this front that I have this perfect relationship. It’s great, but I feel that it’s just.. Off for some reason. Whenever I talk to my parents they say “oh well maybe you guys just aren’t meant to be together then.” uhm what?! #parentsdontunderstand

It’s not that I want to break up, just go back to some, mushier times so to speak.

I’m going to try to open up a little more here. I feel like this blog has gotten away from me and geared towards other things.

Sleep well blends,


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