Sorry

I’m sorry that I haven’t been posting as much these past few days; I’ve been a very busy girl. I have wonderful family zoo photos to show you tomorrow and fun weekend things to talk about. I promise!

I feel like we all expect our lives to be sunshine and rainbows. I wait for when I’m truly happy; it means everything is going to be okay and I’m going to feel okay again.

I recognize that everyone has bad days. Today I ate too much pizza, cake, and cookies. I feel sick inside and out. I don’t know why I eat this way. I didn’t need the second helping of pizza, or the big second slice of cake, or the second cookie. I could have easily felt much better physically and mentally had I just indulged a little. I wouldn’t deny myself, only I wouldn’t eat myself sick either. It’s quite a challenge to achieve. Any of you have encountered binging at one point or another I’m sure. If not, good for you, don’t do it. It sucks.

I had a small fight with my boyfriend including me having a breakdown. I feel like I’m losing my mind here you guys. It must be my time of the month soon or something because I can’t take anything right now.

This is really just an honest post. If you want encouragement, I will encourage you on your blog. This blog is my space. It’s my mind. Right now, my mind is a mess. I am upset with people, I miss the way things used to be, and I’m wondering when exactly I made the decision to view the world the way in the pessimistic way I do now.

I am definitely better than a few months ago. I know I have to focus on my improvement; however it’s just so difficult when nobody actually knows what’s going on and even the people who do don’t make me feel less lonely.

I always get this way at night; it’s why I blog during the day. I need my sleep to have my sanity.

I’m not looking for a pity party by any means. This is my life and what I’m going through. I’m still in that awkward stage of figuring out where the heck I belong in this black and white world when I’m all shades of grey.

Namaste.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Sorry

  1. girl im os sorry youve been havig;n a tough few days… keep your chin up- we are here for support! πŸ™‚

  2. Don’t apologize, we all have your rough days and will be here when you’re ready to blog πŸ™‚

  3. Amanda @ the beauty notebooks

    No need to apologize! Do what is best for you πŸ™‚ I remember you saying that you are a yoga enthusiast; have you ever tried bikram? Since I started it a little over a week ago, I feel like an entirely new person! Not nearly as anxious and moody as I was before. It is incredibly rejuvenating.

    btw I noticed that you are interested in doing a 500 hour training certification. Now that I’ve caught the bikram bug, I’m starting to seriously consider it, too πŸ˜‰

    thinking of you! take care ❀

    • Thank you so much<3 I haven't tried bikram before, but maybe I should. I do a lot of vinyasa because it calms my anxiety and helps me focus better.

      Definitely go for the certification if you feel called to it!! I am getting my 200 hour next summer; just watch out bc it is pretty expensive! Good luck (:

      • thebeautynotebooks

        For me, I think the heat component makes a big difference in my mood. It’s like I’m sweating and cleansing all the anxiety away! Bikram isn’t for everyone — I’ve heard mixed opinions from other people who have tried it — but if you ever do give it a go let me know! I hope you like it as much as I do! Good luck to you too : )

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