I’m sorry that I haven’t been posting as much these past few days; I’ve been a very busy girl. I have wonderful family zoo photos to show you tomorrow and fun weekend things to talk about. I promise!
I feel like we all expect our lives to be sunshine and rainbows. I wait for when I’m truly happy; it means everything is going to be okay and I’m going to feel okay again.
I recognize that everyone has bad days. Today I ate too much pizza, cake, and cookies. I feel sick inside and out. I don’t know why I eat this way. I didn’t need the second helping of pizza, or the big second slice of cake, or the second cookie. I could have easily felt much better physically and mentally had I just indulged a little. I wouldn’t deny myself, only I wouldn’t eat myself sick either. It’s quite a challenge to achieve. Any of you have encountered binging at one point or another I’m sure. If not, good for you, don’t do it. It sucks.
I had a small fight with my boyfriend including me having a breakdown. I feel like I’m losing my mind here you guys. It must be my time of the month soon or something because I can’t take anything right now.
This is really just an honest post. If you want encouragement, I will encourage you on your blog. This blog is my space. It’s my mind. Right now, my mind is a mess. I am upset with people, I miss the way things used to be, and I’m wondering when exactly I made the decision to view the world the way in the pessimistic way I do now.
I am definitely better than a few months ago. I know I have to focus on my improvement; however it’s just so difficult when nobody actually knows what’s going on and even the people who do don’t make me feel less lonely.
I always get this way at night; it’s why I blog during the day. I need my sleep to have my sanity.
I’m not looking for a pity party by any means. This is my life and what I’m going through. I’m still in that awkward stage of figuring out where the heck I belong in this black and white world when I’m all shades of grey.